Yesterday, for example, I was writing, and took a break to check Facebook (yes, this happens more than a few times a day.) As I scrolled down my news feed, a photo of a tiny donkey caught my eye, and I giggled. With the sharp ears of a teen who never hears what they are supposed to hear, but is poised to listen to anything that's not meant for them, Fiona, downstairs in the living room, called out.
Fiona: What are you laughing at?
Me: Oh, nothing, just a funny picture.
Fiona: What is it?
Me: A miniature donkey - it's really tiny!
Fiona: Can you send it to me?
Me: I'll post it to your Facebook wall.
Fiona: NO! DON'T DO THAT! THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING!
Me: Posting a photo of a tiny donkey to your wall is embarrassing?
Fiona: YES MOM! PLEEAAASE DON'T! AND NEVER, EVER POST ANYTHING ON MY WALL!
Me: Well, OK, then.
I guess this one falls into the category of "Just By Being Alive You're Embarrassing Me."
Then, this morning, my friend and I went for a hike. This is the friend I mentioned in the last post, with the teenage daughter who told her that the only reason she still lives at home is because she wants to inherit the money when her parents die. This time, it was something that falls into the category of "Whatever You Do You're Wrong, Even If You Do The Actual Thing Your Teen Tells You To Do."
The teen had told her mother that she was really boring, that she never went out anywhere with her friends and that she never wore fashionable clothes. My friend duly took this in her stride, admitting that yes, her clothing may not be the latest and greatest and yes, she didn't go out that much. So, last weekend, she decided to go out and have a little fun, and headed out with a couple of her girlfriends to a local Music in the Park event in Laguna, where there was an 80s tribute band playing, and everyone was "dancing, laughing, drinking, loving." (Well, OK, maybe not, but surely someone out there recognized the Soft Cell line from Bedsitter? Just me, huh...) Anyway, I digress. My friend got home at the end of the evening, happy, excited and generally in a great mood.
She was greeted by a reproachful teenage girl who reprimanded her that all she ever did was go out and have a good time, while her Dad (my friend's husband,) was out there working all the time.
I almost collapsed laughing at this one. It is just so typical of the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" attitude that teens have.
So, I have a question for all of you out there with current or past teens. What are some of the zingers they've thrown at you? What hit so far below the belt it really hurt? What was so contradictory it was just funny? I know there's a lot out there and I can't wait to hear.
Maybe I'll post a couple on Fiona's Facebook wall, just to embarrass her :-)